"Deconstructing Christianity: What God Showed Me on the Other Side" ft. Pastor Emily Metzger

speaker-0: You were in fire for God once. You had a church you loved, a community that felt like family, a Bible that felt alive, and then ⁓ happened. Maybe it was a leader who disappointed you. Maybe it was a doctrine that stopped making sense. Maybe it was a sense of suffering where God felt completely silent and nobody in your church had anything to say that actually helped. And slowly, quietly, you started pulling it up at the threads. If that wasn't true, what else isn't true? It has a name now. People call it deconstruction. And millions of people are walking through it, some loudly, publicly, with pride, and some in total silence, ashamed to tell anyone they're not getting what they believe anymore. My guest today went through it. She didn't just survive it. She came out of the other side. And the father showed her things about what deconstruction actually is, what it does to us. And what the enemy uses it for. This conversation is going to step on some toes, and it's going to set some people free. So stay with me. Welcome to Elisha Space, a sanctuary for healing growth and for the kind of honest conversations that actually change things. I'm Elisha, your host, a counselor, an author, and someone who has sat in the same stuck places you have. And if you've been listening for a while, I see you, and I'm glad you're back. And if you are brand new here, welcome home. You found this for a reason. Today's episode is one I've been looking forward to for quite some time. We are talking about deconstruction, not as a buzzword, not as a theological debate, but as a lived experience, what it feels like. what it does to you and what the church often gets wrong about how to respond to it and what God actually revealed to my guests about the spiritual dangers on the other side of that process. Today's episode is practical, clinical, but pastoral. Before I bring her in, let's do what we always do here. Let's settle our nervous system so that we can actually receive what's about to be said. I want you to find a comfortable position right now. If you're driving, keep your eyes open and just soften your grip on the wheel. If you're sitting, let your feet find the floor. Feel the ground beneath you. Take a breath in through your nose. Slow for a count of four, two, three, four. Hold it gently, two counts. And release through your mouth. Slow six counts. Two, three, four, five, six. One more time. In through the nose, four counts, two, three, four. Hold. And out. Long, slow six counts. Good. That was your vagus nerve activating. That was your sympathetic branch coming online. Your nervous system just reached the signal and received it. You are safe here. And you are. This conversation is a safe one, even when it gets uncomfortable. So let's begin. My guest today is someone you have met in this space before. She came and And she told her story of trauma upon trauma, of diagnoses that stacked up like a verdict, of addiction and suicidal tendencies nobody could see from the outside, and of a deliverance so complete she doesn't carry a single one of these diagnoses today. She is the founder of Redeemed Ministries, an international cyber ministry. build on inner healing and deliverance. is also a certified trauma informed coach. and the author of six books. more than any credential, she a woman who has sat in the dark and walked holding a torch. ⁓ She came to Elisha's space specifically ⁓ to talk something she has lived through and something God her about on the other side. Pastor Emily Metzger, welcome

speaker-1: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me back. I'm so blessed and honored to be here. Thank you.

speaker-0: ⁓ it is my pleasure to have you here. Welcome. I enjoy having you because I see you as family. So the last time you were here, you told a story that touched something deep in people. This journey from a religious Christian to a Jesus follower and what that shift in identity meant for your healing. But today you came back with something specific. You reached out and said, I want to talk about deconstruction. I want to tell my experience. And I want to share the dangers the father pointed out afterwards. So before we go anywhere else, for people who weren't here for your first episode, can you just give a brief 30-second version of who Emily was before God moved?

speaker-1: I sure can. ⁓ in one sentence, actually, because I can echo Paul. I was the Pharisee of Pharisees. I was a bipolar addict and alcoholic. I was a semi-closet homosexual. I wanted the benefits of God without being transformed, without going through the changes. I was working the nursery at church, but at home I was abusing my kids. So literally, I was a Pharisee of Pharisees. Mercies before God grabbed me.

speaker-0: and I praise him then for the transformation, just like with ⁓ who became Paul, ⁓ have that similar transformation. ⁓ ⁓ the before. ⁓ we established last time ⁓ ⁓ religious Christian identity, ⁓ mask, the performance, ⁓ couldn't hold the weight ⁓ what you were actually carrying. ⁓ that breaking point is actually what I want to connect to. to deconstruction because I think most people don't realize those two things are related. So let's start with the definition, not the internet's definition, not theology, Twitter's definition, your definition. When you use the word deconstruction, what are you actually describing? And what did it actually look like for you in real life?

speaker-1: So deconstruction to me was and is the total dismantling and demolition of everything I ever believed and allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal truths that transformed me. I had just gotten sober after, being an addict and an alcoholic since my teens. ⁓ And I did not deconstruction until I was like forty. So we're talking a lifetime, you know, and I had just gotten sober. I was starting to study the Bible intensely. Well, while I was on a Facebook doing a sermon, mind you, and I don't remember now what the so the subject was or what the exact sentence was that I said, but as soon as I said it, I out loud said, but I don't believe that. And I was so shocked that it came out of my mouth and didn't stay in my brain. That I just cut the life off without saying anything. Like I was shook to my core because I'm like, okay, it finally hit me. Like I am a pastor and I'm teaching these things because the Bible says it, but I don't believe it. This is hypocrisy. This is not okay. And it just shook me and it shook me hard. night I made a list, of what I have been told to believe my whole life. ⁓ and what I actually believed. they were vastly different, ⁓ vastly different. ⁓ And that night started the dismantling of my system, my my doctrine. you could say that I was teaching what I had been taught then And I realized I didn't even believe it, it threw me into deconstruction before I even knew deconstruction was a thing. It took me about six months from that night before I even went live again. Like I was so shook and I didn't want to be that hypocrite and I had to get, my beliefs actually were, whether they were right or wrong. I wanted to know what I believed before I went on another live again. when I did go live again, I was still in the throes of dismantling. It was messy. later I found out that even what I was teaching after that was incorrect. But at least I knew what I believed, you know? And so deconstruction, it left no page unturned for me in my quest for truth. Because when I deconstructed, I went from my childhood to that moment. So everything was deconstructed.

speaker-0: And that's important because clinically, what you're describing has a name in the trauma world. We call it meaning-making disruption. So when the framework we've used to make sense of our what's been happening suddenly feels like it's a source of our ⁓ Our nervous system and all those things that are around that, because we are spirit, soul, and body, it doesn't know what to do with that. So the very thing that was supposed to be our anchor starts to feel like the chain. So everything kind of moves in that direction. So when you're going through a deconstruction, what you're talking about makes sense because it looks like the vibrations of that affected you on every level, you know. and that nobody really asked regarding that, you know, as far as ⁓ helping you more comfortable in your skin when it comes to ⁓ that area deconstruction. I'm just wondering, when you were going through deconstruction, that affect you ⁓ physically as well?

speaker-1: I would say that Because I was also getting sober. My body was already under some stress. And when I started deconstructing, I mean, I just it was almost ⁓ like a bipolar flare up or something, you know, like my my mind was everywhere at one time. I became very irritable, very agitated. I was very judgmental of everybody else because I was so confused on what I believed. You know, so it was kind of of kinda everywhere to be quite honest with you.

speaker-0: Yes. It sounds like when the Lord would you know, when the Lord restores, he makes it better than it was before. Yes. if we give a Honda to the Lord, he's not gonna give us a Honda back. ⁓ He's gonna give us a Lamborghini. ⁓ Because when he restores, he makes it better than it before. ⁓ And it sounds like he was restoring you. It w it doesn't sound like it was ⁓ that it sounds like he was ⁓ you in a situation that was much better than what it was before.

speaker-1: Yes, I can say that now that I'm on the other side, but when I was in it it didn't feel like it.

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: You know, it just it just feels like turmoil. It feels painful. Because one of the things that that I had to that happened to me during my deconstruction of everything is I was exposed. And I don't while I don't mind confrontation, if the confrontation is exposing at the same time, it becomes very uncomfortable. And when God is exposing things inside of you that are ugly.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: and you're not ready to deal with them, it it can be extremely painful.

speaker-0: Absolutely. And what you're talking about is so important. when your faith framework starts to kind of shift, ⁓ apart, crumble, it affects your nervous system in a way. And I want to also, especially if you if if people are ⁓ audience, if you're ⁓ that survival state, ⁓ ventral vagal system, the part ⁓ for social connection, for safety, for belonging. ⁓ It'll go offline because it's trying to keep you in a survival state. And when that happens, people don't just lose their theology, they lose that capacity to feel safe with God. So even though, because his word says, I will never leave you for or forsake you, he's never left you. It's just your body has been shifted. And that's when it can get dangerous, which brings me to what you came here to say. ⁓ you told me. You wanted to talk about this specifically, not just your experience with deconstruction, but what the father revealed to you afterwards. So what's the what the dangers are, what the enemy uses it for. So Emily, what did the Lord show you?

speaker-1: Right, so deconstructing in its good sense helped me to understand that it was okay to question what we were being told to believe, right? And to seek out the truths for ourselves. Okay. I learned that it wasn't a sin to ask my questions. It wasn't a sin to have the feelings of confusion or resistance or doubt. Okay. And that's how I learned to study. When I learned, ⁓ okay, I don't just have to believe somebody. They have a microphone or they're speaking at a pulpit, I can actually, you know, think for myself and have questions. That was very, very freeing. But what I didn't realize was that the enemy was setting me up and was using the deconstruction to wipe out my faith and my calling. It wasn't just my faith. He wanted to just tear my faith to complete shreds and then yank the calling from underneath me. And what I found is that deconstruction is really similar to temptation in the way that the enemy uses it. So when people deconstruct, and myself included, it was because I didn't like the teachings, I didn't like the theology, I didn't like the belief systems within Christianity, but I still believed in God. And that's something that most people don't talk about either. Because when you look at the church and they're talking, you know, pastors and whatnot, and they're just berating deconstructionists, they think that these deconstructionists are leaving God. No, they're leaving religion. And that's something that people need to understand. Most people don't go into it because they hate God. They go into it because there's way too much compromise and lukewarmness and you know, all the things inside the church that they don't agree with. And so the hook to deconstruction is the freedom to express my beliefs, my confusion, my church hurt, right? Because a lot of people are trying to say church hurt isn't real. Yes, it is. Stop gaslighting people. And you know Just expressing all of that to a group of people who understood and didn't throw rocks at me. They didn't throw scripture at me like it was the fix-all, you know. The deconstruction community was really accepting. They were kind and supportive. It's the direct opposite of what it felt like within Christianity. And I want to let that sit. you're with people that are deconstructing. They accept you where you're at and they don't try to change you. It's the direct opposite of what you're gonna get if you go talk to most pastors or small groups. And once deconstructionists have taken this bait, you know, of, ⁓ I've found my people, I'm accepted, I'm wanted, I'm loved. What you're gonna find is they're now in what I call the snare of the enemy. Because they have now isolated themselves from the community of believers, and they have aligned themselves with people who are trying to figure out what they believe in many of them. Because they have experienced church trauma, they've experienced church hurt, a lot of them are even trying to decide for themselves if God is even real. And that that's what I call the snare because you feel welcome over here where you should feel welcome here. So you're you're pulling away from the church group and you don't even realize that you're doing it.

speaker-0: This is not about shaming people who are ⁓ going through this process. I want to be really clear about that. Asking hard questions of God is not the sin. The Psalms are full of it. Job demanded answers, and so did Jeremiah. The danger is not in the questioning, the danger is what fills the space when the old framework comes down. And whether we're anchored to the person of Jesus or Just to the system we built around him. Because here is the clinical truth. When we have a dysregulated nervous system, that will attach to anything that feels like safety. And if the church structure represented safety and that structure crumbles, the nervous system will reach for the next available anchor. And what Emily's referring to is relationship with the Lord. We're talking about relationship. We're not talking about a religious system and we're not talking about a religious type of teaching. We're talking about relationship and there's a big difference between the two. And the question become comes: who hands you one in that moment? Are we reaching out for the religious system or are we reaching out for the Lord? Because when you're reaching out for the Lord. He is the one who did who stabilizes you. He will hold you up. And there's a version of deconstruction that culture is celebrating right now on so especially in social media and in certain book spaces and progressive theology circles. It's packaged as liberation and finally being free from the constraints of religious trauma. And some of it genuinely is h is healing. But Emily, you experienced something on the other side that made you come back. And I need to warn people, what did that counterfeit freedom actually look like? And how is it different from real healing?

speaker-1: Okay, so I find my I found myself really highly engaged, you know, with the deconstruction because it did liberate me from some of the false theologies and just the church traumas, right? But most of the creators that I ended up listening to were angry ex-Christians who berated the church, you know, and they some of them, a lot of them had renounced Christ during ⁓ their deconstruction. And what I found is was becoming Very angry. I started to detest and hate my calling because I had known since my early 20s that I was called to be a pastor, and I started to just detest it. I didn't want it. And once that started, it was a very quick slide to not only hating my calling, but I had the audacity to tell God that I wasn't going to keep serving him his way. And with that audacity, I decided to forsake the the title of pastor, the calling of pastor, and I tried to take on the title of a prophet. Because I knew that that part of the calling and because prophets are highly regarded, you know, it appealed to my flesh. And that's the thing. ⁓ you know, with deconstruction too, a lot of it is where they they go towards what is appeasing their flesh. Okay. And I don't remember how long that went on, but I will tell you that God finally confronted me. And he finally just said, you know, you're you're gonna serve me in the capacity of a pastor or you're not gonna serve me at all. You know, and and it and it scared me. And I said, okay, I choose you. I choose your way, God. And then this is when he started to show me how the deconstruction movement can be healthy, but can also be really destructive. So within this deconstruction movement, there are camps or groups, if you will, but I call them camps, okay? Camps of different belief systems. So in a sense, these camps were like battle lines, you know. That I believe this and I will not believe this. All right. So, you know, there's groups of people that, you know, still believe in God, some that are questioning, some that absolutely do not, some that believe ⁓ homosexuality and Christianity can mingle, and those that do not. All right. So each camp ⁓ that you join is based on the area that you are deconstructing the most. Whatever hurt you the most, whatever was the most confusing, those generally are the camps of creators that you're going to follow. All right. So for me, ⁓ because I struggled with homosexuality from probably about six or seven years old, ⁓ that's you know, where I kind of tended to stay is those that were trying to say that you could be a Christian and practice homosexuality at the same time. So basically in a nutshell, whatever your emotional or mental triggers are for deconstructing, that's the camp that you're gonna land in. Before God cornered me and made me make a choice, I was already starting to feel uncomfortable in these deconstruction camps because anytime I would post about how I still believed that God was real and that he was loving. And I want to say this with all love because there's there's no judgment of this happening. I just want to share it with the believers. every time I would try to do that, I was silenced by the group leaders, by the administrators, and told that they don't allow posts like that in respect for those who no longer believe in God. So Once you have created, you know, this community and the groups you are deconstructing about, God is no longer a topic of love. He becomes a topic of a tyrant, and you're trying to get out from underneath his control. It is no longer about what the church taught you or what the church expects you to believe. It becomes he is a tyrant. And this is why I am starting to talk more and more about deconstruction, my experience in it, what God has been showing me, because deconstruction is a great tool when it's utilized correctly, just like anything else. But if you don't realize that deconstruction is also a weapon formed against your identity and your purpose, the enemy will take you down. Because the deconstruction community is fed off of what feels right, not what is right. So the camp communities, they they plant seeds of resentment towards the truth of the Bible. Seeds such as I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, but why can't God just allow people to be who they are and accept them anyway? He's a tyrant. He has no, you know, it's a his way or no way type of theology, you know, or the infamous, ⁓ I know the Bible says sinners won't go to heaven, but nobody is ever going to be perfect. So why do we even you know keep trying? Is it even worth it? And once you hear those things over and over and over, it starts to settle in your heart. And it's a really easy slope. Downhill, you know, once those seeds have touched it, that wounded heart, and they start to resonate because the camp you're in is all questioning and hurting about the same thing you are. And suddenly, you know, you're opening up to people who really understand you, but you're getting a a convoluted, thank you, Holy Spirit, for that word, convoluted, understanding of what the Bible actually says based on what people are feeling about it. And that is what makes deconstruction so popular. It's why there is an overwhelming number of people who have left Christianity during deconstruction. And I'll be honest, there's no way to calculate how many people didn't realize the snare that they had been caught in and they left. Biblical doctrine while chasing after what feels good and they didn't even recognize what was happening.

speaker-0: Knowledge isn't just power for trauma survivors. Knowledge is safety. And what you're describing is the difference between overall the symptom relief and healing. A person who leaves an abusive church and simply stops going to church may feel better. The cortisol drops, the hypervigilance quiets, and the nervous system says, see, that's better. But what's actually happened is that the source of that pride was removed, not that the healing occurred. And real healing changes the internal environment, not just the external one. And that's what makes it sometimes so hard to distinguish from the outside. And ⁓ what Emily's pretty much saying, ⁓ that I'm hearing is that sometimes when you're going through that healing process, you stop too soon. You have to go through. All of it. You have to go through all of it. The being remembered from Psalms, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. You have to go through the journey of that. Unfortunately, and I will admit, this is me too. Sometimes I wish I could get to the start line and do a big leapfrog jump all the way to the end without going through. But In the word, it says we have to go through. The beautiful thing is he's with us and he's not going to leave us nor forsake us, even if it might feel that way sometimes. Let's talk about the church's response for a moment because I've sat across from so many people in my counseling room, in my DMs, in this podcast who say I tried to tell someone at my church what was what I was feeling and they responded with a scripture and a prayer and they made it worse. What does that proper response to deconstruction look like from church leadership? And what are we currently getting wrong with this?

speaker-1: So this is a really loaded two-part question. And I have quite a bit written down. And I'm gonna try to stick to to reading it exactly how Holy Spirit gave it to me. And I want to say before I start reading it, I love the church. This is not an attack on the body. Okay. This is more of a corrective measure. Okay.

speaker-0: Didal I love the church too. I'm so happy that I'm a part of the body of Christ. Go ahead.

speaker-1: Yes, me too. Me too. But I can promise you that some people are not gonna like ⁓ what I'm about to say. ⁓ and I'm gonna start with what church leadership is doing that is making the deconstructionists, you know, more likely to walk away. I'll put it that way. ⁓ and and you know, if you don't like this, please take this to prayer or you can even you can even email me and I will walk you through how, you know, this would work for you. But What leaders are doing wrong is twofold. Okay, so number one, they're taking a personal offense to believers who have questions. And because they are offended, they are in defense mode as if God needs a defensive mediator between him and his children. And I believe that they're offended because they expect people to believe what they've said because they're holding a microphone, they're standing on an altar. And instead of just humbly speaking the truth when given the opportunity and trusting God with the results of that seed, they are either defending God or condemning the people who ask the questions. Leaders need to remember they are vessels. We are mouthpieces. We are not God. And people are allowed to ask these questions. They are allowed to ask you to prove what you just said into that microphone. They are allowed to voice their opinions or their feelings or their understanding of the word of God, and none of that is sin. Number two, leaders are demonizing deconstruction, and not everything needs the demonic title or a demonic hashtag. Leaders need to understand that deconstructionists aren't rebels, they aren't looking to leave Jesus. They want to break free from the religious box that the church has tried to put him in. Most simply want answers to questions that keep getting poo-pooed or used against them. The amount of spiritual abuse in Christianity, especially in America, is sickening. Americanized Jesus is not the Jesus of the Bible. And frankly, people are tired of it.

speaker-0: Here, here.

speaker-1: Yes. A trauma informed response to someone going through deconstruction would include compassion, understanding, and grace. So compassion looks like not demonizing someone, asking questions and seeking the truth, but instead letting them know that you're there for them. And that if they would like to open up to you about it, that you're there, that you're a safe space. If leaders stopped gaslighting and actually started discipling, they could disciple destruct deconstructionists instead of feeding them to the enemy. And that's Holy Spirit's words, not mine. Real shepherds don't feed the sheep to the enemy. They prevent the wolf from getting the sheep. And that can only be accomplished when we actually know the people we are leading and have enough of a relationship with them that they feel safe to voice their opinions, objections, concerns, and to let us disciple them. This comes to be when the body of Christ starts holding leaders accountable for their failings, their sins, their inappropriate demonizing of the sheep, and start taking accountability. Understanding would look like asking the deconstructionist questions and actually listening to their response to understand them, not listening to respond with what you think is appropriate. Listening to them, what they're going through. And what they hope to gain from deconstructing instead of assuming they are rebellious and trying to cause division. If you want to know the truth, if you want to know the truth, this is Holy Spirit. This is what he told me to say. The church's bad reputation in gaslighting created deconstruction anyway. There would not be a movement of deconstruction. If the church was not gaslighting and abusing the sheep. So if the church discipled and taught like Jesus instead of like the world, people would be talking and learning from trustworthy and accountable leaders and other believers on a regular basis instead of having to seek their help from social media. People don't feel heard when they don't understand, agree with, or know how to put Bible principles into practice, so they go where they're heard.

speaker-0: Amen. I love the Holy Spirit.

speaker-1: Me too. I was a little anxious, so I was like, ooh, that's gonna step on some toes.

speaker-0: I want to end the deconstruction arc with this. Reconstruction, because there are people listening right now who are in the middle of it, who haven't left faith entirely, but who don't know what faith looks like for them anymore. They're in what I call the transitional state, the disorienting space between struggling and healing, between what they were taught and what they believe. Now and what does reconstruction look like? And what is the first step for someone in that in-between place?

speaker-1: So, in all honesty, the reconstruction after deconstructing for a while is really quite eye-opening. It's actually very similar to like recommitting your life to Christ in a way. You know, in fact, in the beginning of my reconstruction, you know, it's just it's really just making a decision of no matter if this gets harder or not, I am going to still follow Christ. So reconstruction should answer two important questions. So if you're deconstructing or you're thinking about deconstructing, ask yourself these questions and please answer yourself honestly because nobody else needs to know your answers. This is yours to answer. Number one, why am I or why did I start deconstructing? Because if you're thinking about it and you're being honest in in both your reasons and your motive for deconstructing, right, you're going to start hearing ⁓ from the Holy Spirit very well. And I can tell you that from experience. And when you're answering, be clear about why, you know, what your why was. What was your motive? Because those answers are either gonna set you on the rock of ages or it's gonna plop you down in the sand. So honesty is always the best policy, even with yourself. You know, and if you're in the middle of deconstruction or you're coming to the crossway of, you know, I don't know what to do, I'm I'm wanting to start reconstructing. I want you to write down your whys and the motive, and then write down what your whys are. Now. So what was your why when you started? What was the motive when you started? What is your why and your motive now? And I can promise you they're gonna be different. They may even just be a little different, but they're gonna be different. The second question should come straight from your heart. Don't think about it. Answer with what your heart says the moment I ask this next question. What do you hope to gain? From deconstruction, if you're at the beginning stages. And what would a successful deconstruction look like for you at the end? Okay. If you're neck deep already into deconstruction and you're not sure whether you're coming or going. Hard. But you have to have a clear understanding of what that finish line would look like for you. And how would you know if you're at that finish line? Because if deconstructionists answer these questions honestly, the Holy Spirit will not only direct their next steps, but he will draw them closer onto himself. And I know this to be true because the Holy Spirit, you know. of every the the the the spirit of every person is drawn to god it's our soul so our mind our will and emotions that are easily swayed away from god but our spirit man he's connected he or she is connected to god You know, if these questions only take a half hour and twenty or twenty minutes, you know, whatever it takes you. The answer is already there inside of you. The Holy Spirit already knows the answers to these questions. It's a matter of you sitting with yourself, with your mind, your will, and your emotions, and being willing to hear the answer. And this is why proper discipleship is so important. There's too many people in the body of Christ that can't differentiate between their thoughts. The the enemy and the Holy Spirit. And that's part of the reason that deconstruction is even a thing, because people don't know who they're hearing.

speaker-0: Here's what I've learned in the counseling room. I've learned that healing is not linear and reconstruction is not the same as restoration. You don't have to go back to who you were before. Praise God for that. You go forward into who you were already meant to be. And sometimes, not always, but sometimes. The deconstruction season is actually the most clarifying season a person ever walks through because everything that was built on religion falls away. And what's left is the only thing that was ever really real. And that is the person of Jesus. So before we close, I want to give the microphone to the person who is listening and afraid, not afraid of God. But afraid of admitting what they're feeling, afraid that asking the question means they've lost their faith. Afraid of what their pastor would say, what their family will think, what God thinks of their doubt. Emily, could you please speak to that person?

speaker-1: Beloved, your questions aren't a sin. Your feelings are not a threat of division. Your need for clarity and understanding of God and the biblical concepts isn't a rebellious act. Your desire to understand and go deeper is actually a fruit of your love for God. The Bible speaks about the wisdom in asking questions and seeking knowledge and deep diving into the things of God. Deconstruction is biblical at its root. But if you deconstruct with the world, there's a great chance that you will deconstruct away from God. Deconstruct with the foundation of remaining in Christ, no matter what that means. Deconstruct with people that are firm in that foundation, that they know that they're not they're choosing not to waver no matter what deconstruction looks like in the midst of it. You have to deconstruct with people that are like-spirited and foundationally secure. And when you do that, you will be surprised at how well God reveals Himself to you. And I'm gonna say this. If you do find yourself deconstructing with some of the creators and whatnot on social media, because inevitably you will, okay, I'm gonna challenge you. In this, I told you that you're gonna want to find yourself in the camps of the people that are deconstructing with the same belief that you have. I want you to purposely not do that. I want you to purposely find the creators that are going, yeah, I'm deconstructing. And I thought that homosexuality was okay too, but I found out different. I want you to deconstruct on purpose. With the opposite of what you feel is real, what you feel is true. If you purposely oppose your feelings, you're gonna find the truth. And know that I love you. And as we're recording this, I am creating a free PDF journal that I'm going to be giving out just free for anybody that listens to this, anyone in general, that wants to know how to deconstruct with a foundation that keeps you in Christ and keeps you out of the snare of the enemy. And she will have links to that and all of that in the description. But that is in totality, that's why I came on here was just to tell you there is a a a better way to deconstruct than what the world is showing you.

speaker-0: He is not afraid of your questions. He's not offended by your doubt. A God who knit you together in your mother's womb knows every question you're going to ask before you even open your mouth. And yet he still is leaning in. That is not a God who needs you to perform certainty. That is a God who is safe for your confusion. It does say in his word, come. Let us reason together in Isaiah, the book of Isaiah. So lean in and ask your questions because he's not scared of the questions. Emily, you have built a whole ministry around this work. Inner healing, deliverance, trauma-informed coaching. Where can people find you and what's the best way to connect with what you're doing at Redeem Ministry?

speaker-1: ⁓ I am more active on my Facebook than pretty much anywhere else. So on Facebook, you would just go to like Facebook.com forward slash pastoremily. I did last week start a ministry Facebook. So that's like brand new. There's like 10 people that follow it so far, but you can find that at Facebook.com forward slash redeemed ministries seventy-seven. ⁓ I do have a website. You're gonna need that if you choose to get the the the free journal. So that is redeemed ministriesmi.com. ⁓ I am also on ⁓ tick tock. I forgot to write down what my handle is though, so I apologize for that. I'm on IG Lemonate. And Substack and pretty much everywhere. Most of the places that you're gonna find me though is either gonna be under Redeemed Ministries or Redeemed Ministries 77. It's always gonna be one of those two. You can find me anywhere, really. ⁓ my email is redeemed ministries.connect at gmail.com.

speaker-0: We will put every single link in the show notes, so please go find her. And what Emily carries is rare. She carries the practical and the spiritual and it's all in one place. Held by someone who has actually been in the fire that she teaches about. Believe me, when you listen to her, if you have an opportunity to speak to her, you will not shock her because she's been through it. And she's been through the fire and she's come out on the other side. Before we close, we're going to do what we always do in this space. We're going to pray, not over you, with you. So if you're driving, you can receive this. If your eyes are open or closed, it doesn't matter. This is not performance. This is just two women talking to the Father on behalf of the one listening. So let's bow together. Father God, we are grateful that you made these bodies, that you knit together the very nervous systems that we are learning to regulate, that you wired us for connection, connection to you. To each other and to the truth of who we are. And Father, we lift up every single person listening today who is somewhere in the middle of deconstruction, who has lost the certainty that they used to carry, who is afraid of the questions they're asking, who truly miss you, but they don't even know how to find their way back. Lord, we ask that you meet them in the doubt, not past it, not on the other side. Right in the middle of it, the way you met Thomas in his style, the way you met Peter in his shame, the way you met Job when he was in so much anguish. We ask that you silence the voices that tell them their questioning means that they are failure, that their confusion is a spiritual deficit, that they are too far gone, that they are too much. And we ask that you anchor them. Not to the system, not to a denomination, not to a doctrine, ⁓ to person, ⁓ to Christ. ⁓ And every person listening who has experienced real harm inside the church, we grieve with you. We do not minimize it. We do not explain it away. ⁓ We what happened to you was wrong. ⁓ And say ⁓ To you that the Father is not the harm that was done in his name. His peace is not dependent on your circumstances being resolved. It is a regulated nervous system in the presence of a safe God. Come, Holy Spirit, and do what we cannot do. Heal what we cannot reach, and reach past the theology and into the womb and bring them home. In the holy name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen. Before I let you go, here is your challenge. I want you to find one question, one honest question about God, about faith, about the church, about your own experience that you have been afraid to say out loud. And then I want you to do this. I want you to say it out loud. to yourself in the car in the shower wherever you feel safest not to a social media audience not to your pastor take it to God because here's what I know he can handle it and your nervous system needs the release of voicing it before it will let you move forward this is your seven day challenge one honest question out loud to the father and then pay attention to what comes back Thank you, Emily. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for trusting the space with something this tender and this important. We will absolutely have you back. For everyone listening, if this episode helped you, share it. Text it to one person you know who is in that in-between place. Don't write them a paragraph. Just send the link, I thought of you, and that would be enough. All of Emily's links will be in the show notes. Go find her. Go read her books. Go follow what she is building at Redeemed Ministries. And you can find us at elishaspace.unpodium.com for resources, the start guide, and everything that lives in this community. And if this is your first time here, subscribe, follow. Whatever your platform allows. New episodes drop regularly and the conversations just keep going deeper. Until next time, you are not too much. You are not too far. And you are not alone.